"So Levi," I asked, "when you were sitting with Arlene in church this morning, did you sing along?"
"No, I didn't." He replied. Voice normal, but spoken matter of factly.
"Oh, why not? You knew some of the songs. We practiced them on Friday!" I said, thinking about the million times I had sung the chorus of "Jesus Paid It All" with him on Friday morning, which led to some intense conversations, which is another story for another day...
"Well, I just feel like I hate music," Levi told us without skipping a beat.
Herb and I looked at each other. Okay, he's just a three year old and he recently learned the word hate as being the opposite of love....I hate the Steelers, I love everyone, but I hate bad guys. Not my favorite word to say, and not one that we encourage the use of, but it's a reality and he's just figuring out when that word is appropriate, right?
"Buddy," we asked, "Why do you feel like you hate music?"
I played through a few scenarios about where this conversation could turn, and with each following word he spoke, I realized my worst scenarios were in fact the ones he was referring to.
"Ummmm, I just feel like music shuts....music shuts me....I just feel like music shuts me out."
Well, to be honest, jaws and hearts dropped. too.
We have been worried lately that Levi is not loving the fact that Herb and I play on worship team together and during that time (rehearsal), Levi plays cars or colors or plays with the iPad for an hour at the foot of the piano. He's a pretty great solo player, but it's hard to find a grown up to take you potty when they're singing and playing instruments.
So, quick! Before my child begins to hate the one THING I love in this world more than any other THING (not people, thing)... we have to intervene. After some conversation, we've decided to STOP taking Levi to rehearsals and make sure we have a (fun) babysitter for him on those evenings. Additionally, I'm going to scale back my worship team participation from every week to every other week so that I can hang out with Levi and hopefully shop him how fun it can be to worship in the congregation.
I'm a little panicked because I can see how the "PK" thing happens...this is how it starts. I don't want to push my son away from church and faith and worship because I'm too busy with one ministry that I neglect my most important ministry (motherhood). I realized this morning that I didn't give up a career to be with Levi just so I could fill up my time and distract my focus from him with a million other little obligations.
Have you and your spouse every served in ministry together? How do you balance that with a family?