Twenty Minutes

"That was the most frustrating experience of my life!"  I complained to Lauren on Friday.

I was driving from Harrisonburg, VA to Manheim, PA, and had to stop in Hagerstown, MD for gas. I was chatting on the phone with Lauren, and as I pulled off the exit, I saw the sign for Sheetz, and said, "Hey, I'm pulling up now, I'll call you right back."

And then I couldn't find Sheetz.  The traffic was awful and all the gas stations were on the wrong side of the four lane road.  I pulled into the Giant parking lot, but then there were lines 2 cars deep at each gas pump.  Down the road and across the street I finally found an open gas station, got my gas, made my way back to the highway, and called Lauren back.  But I was annoyed!

So imagine my disgust when, an hour later, I found myself gridlocked on Rt 81 - a major highway!  All I wanted was to get home!  I should have known better than to travel through the state capital during Friday rush hour.

As I sat in my car, fuming over the gas station and traffic situations, scanning the radio to figure out why in the world traffic was not moving, I saw something rise above the cars in front of me, higher over the bridge, and in to the sky.

The life line helicopter.

It was an accident, it was a bad one, it was only a few hundred feet in front of me, and someone died.

With an overwhelming wash of emotions and sense gratitude, I couldn't stop thinking about what would have happened if I had a perfectly normal gas-getting experience earlier.  What if I had arrived to the intersection of 81 and 114 just 15 or 20 minutes sooner?

Some call it the butterfly effect, I call it divine intervention.

Thank you, God, for protection.  Please ruin my plans as often as you need to.

They Prayed Him Home

I wrote yesterday about my time with my Aunt Pam and Uncle Dwight.  Well, before I left for home, I stopped by Pam's work.  I like seeing where people work.  It helps me picture their day to day lives and then when we catch up at Thanksgiving or Reunions, I feel like I understand things better.

Pam met me in the lobby of the credit union and then took me upstairs to her office.

(Sidenote - an upstairs office at a bank?  You better believe she's important, but so humble!!)

After the quick office tour, she said, "I want to introduce you to two other ladies.  They prayed Levi home to you!"

What?!  No big surprise here - but tears quickly stung my eyes.

These ladies meet every Friday morning to pray for each other, and, unbeknownst to me, for several months lifted Herb and I up in prayer.  They prayed us through waiting, and broken hearts, and cried happy tears when Pam shared the news of our spontaneous parenthood.

It was awesome to meet to women of God who had prayed for me without ever meeting me, and I hope it touched them to get to see Levi in person, too!

I remember thanking people for all the prayers during the dark times, knowing that we were being covered by people who I didn't know.  But to put even two faces with those prayers was such an incredible feeling.  I love the Church.

Der Herr Hat Groszes An Uns Getan.... (the Lord has done great things...)

Last week I visited some family in Virginia.  My uncle Dwight, his wife Pam, and their two daughters, Dara and Rachelle, live about 4 hours south of here.  I have only been to their house one other time in my adult life, and every time I visit I wonder why I don't go more often!   Herb and Dwight have the same affinity for all things music (especially the words electric and guitar) and are both worship leaders, and pretty much soul mates.

I always associated Dwight and Pam with being my parents' age because Dwight is my mom's younger brother.  But now that we are both in the child rearing stage of life, the 15-20 year age difference feels totally different.  The girls, my cousins, are both under 10, and awesome helpers/babysitters for Levi.  But I love how parenting kind of levels many a playing field!

Dara, their oldest daughter is my twin.  Blond hair, light eyes, and an affinity for grabbing attention.  I love this kid.  Growing up, all of my cousins (and my own sister) had dark eyes and hair and complexions - Dara was the first one who looked like me!  And I gotta say, my niece Joelle isn't too far off, either.  Blonds really do have more fun.

Rachelle has adorable petite features and that just scream, "Love me!" and, despite her light hair, she reminds me so much of my sister Wendi.  Facial features and personality.  When I look at Dara and Rachelle, I see Michelle and Wendi, just 18 years behind us.  It makes me love my sister even more.

So, anyway, this isn't at all where I was going with this post. But, since I'm here.... Dwight and Pam are amazing followers of Christ, and I think if they lived any closer, I would complete deplete their resources.  There would be many nights of me pouring out my heart on their couch, soaking in their wisdom and their humor and drinking their chai.  Because that's what happened last week, and it was great.

All that to say, the older I get, the more I realize what "untapped resources" my aunts and uncles are.  And there are a lot of them - my mom has 2 sisters, and a brother, my dad has 4 brothers and 5 sisters.  I feel like the more I get to know each of them, I get to know my parents in a new way.  And knowing my parents in a new way helps me know myself in a new way, too.  Is that weird?

I hope it's not too late to start building these relationships with my family.  Not that there's bad blood anywhere - I just want to get to know everyone better.  I think I'm starting to get it.

The verse in my title of this post is from Psalm 126:3 - "The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy."  Written in German/PA Dutch, I painted it on a canvas for my mom for Mother's Day.  To me, it represents the rich heritage that the Lord has blessed me with.  I'm proud of the Mennonite/Amish/conservative family tree from which my branch stems, I just want to get more familiar with it!

So - Karen, Janice, Dwight, Aden, Fannie, Rosie, Ben, Barb, Elsie, Reuben, Marcia, and Jerry (and all your significant others) - I'm coming for you.  Get your the stories about your childhood and my parents and your parents and your kids ready.  I want to know it all.

It's Gonna Be May

First of all, this picture of J-Tim  cracks me up every time.

This post is my love letter to the month of May, in the form of terrible poetry. And that's saying a lot because it's only been a week.

Dear May,

I love you so incredibly, let me count the ways.

I love you for your perfect breeze 

while running under gorgeous trees 

which serve as the background 

for moments I want to freeze.  

I love you for the inviting light 

as the day turns into night 

begging us to dine outside- 

as if I'd actually put up a fight.

I love you for the way 

you make us stay all day 

for my house is so much cleaner 

when it's outside that we play.

 

I love you for all the things to do

Run here, go there, wear good shoes

Spending time with friends, and knowing

I have the best ones, takes away the blues

Run! Duck! Run Faster!

I almost died today.

Okay, that's an exaggeration, but I might have almost lost an ear or an eye or had a heart attack.  And that is TRUTH.

As it turns out, if you are jogging by a pretty pond at a retirement home, and a mother duck with her ducklings crosses your path - watch out!  Or slow down.  For, if you look mama and her ducks, while you're running, she WILL view you as a predator.  And she will chase you.

Now, you're probably thinking, "Big whoop, ducks slowly waddle."

To that I say - DID YOU KNOW THEY ALSO FLY?  They fly a lot faster than they waddle.  Scientifically speaking, this duck could fly precisely the same speed at which I jog, which means I had to run hard and fast with my head over my shoulder to see my impending doom.  Did I mention I was on a hill, going up?

I actually considered kicking the duck, that's how afraid I was.  But then I realize my leg couldn't kick that high - she was flying at my shoulder level.

And squawking.  Oh, the squawking.  This is the material of nightmares.

So, in the end Run Keeper tracked my fastest minute of running (UPHILL even) yet, I did not die, I learned a lesson about mama ducks, and I am going to see if she wants to come with me on all my morning jogs to keep me motivated.

But really, I almost died.

Inspiration, Pinspiration, and Consulation

Remember my post a few weeks ago when I shared somewhat embarrassing photos of my master bedroom? I have a few things I love, but what I am completely lacking is a direction to go, decorating wise.  And this has ALWAYS been true for our master bedroom.

Then you have Lauren.  She just wrote an entire post about how one photo (from pinterest) is guiding her bedroom decor.  I'm totally jealous.  I wish I could find one photo I love and run with it.  But there's so many problems:

1. I like a ton of photos.
2. I am overwhelmed at the thought of spending money on decorating.
3. I am overwhelmed at the thought of spending money on decorating a room when I'm not even sure what I want.
4.  I don't really know what I want.
5. I'm a renter - so I feel boxed in by a small bedroom, ugly (unchangeable) carpet, and an atrocious ceiling fan.

And then Kim came to the rescue.

Who is Kim?  Why, she's Dustin's wife.... a few months ago at my 10 year class reunion (why I haven't I blogged about that?!), I was introduced to Kim by Dustin, who was one of my classmates.  Kim and I had an instant connection over parenting two year olds, but quickly realized our affinity for blogging, decorating, and all things pinterest.

Then I went home and looked Kim up on facebook and saw that she is LEGIT.  She has a degree in interior design and her own Design Consultation business!

So, you can imagine my excitement, when after posting pictures of our tiny master bedroom, Kim emailed me to offer her services.  In the words of Lauren, it's like God was giving me a great big fuzzy bear hug! And, as if icing on the cake, Kim's specialty is designing on a dime - we'll be freecycling, craigslisting, and using what I have.  I can't wait to see what she comes up with!

Photos via Kimberly Musser Designs

So, stay tuned.  Exciting things happening.  In the mean time, check out Kim's website.  I bet she'd like to create an inspiration for your rooms, too!!

Airports, Anthro, and Four Granola Bars

On Facebook I follow a page called "Honest Toddler."  It's just what it sounds like - hilarious.  Some brilliant parent is posting on behalf of their two year old, supposing the things that we all wonder if our kid is thinking.

This morning's status: "In a store called Anthropologie. Looks like a cross between a garage sale and a wedding."

I had to chuckle, because just a hour or two before I read this, I had taken my own toddler into Anthropologie, where he found door knobs displayed in a bowl with, what else, white and yellow gumballs, and then insisted we roll the balls to each other.

I conceded until one ball rolled clear across the store, and some suit with a bluetooth, obviously picking out an I'm-sorry-I'm-a-jerk gift for his wife (#takenoteHerbSuerethChrisStrayerJerryBecker), had to point me in the direction of said gumball.

Anyway.

We took my mom to the airport this morning.  She's visiting my sister in Florida for the week.  I was not invited and I don't want to talk about it.  I thought since we were in Philly already from our airport trip, Levi and I should make a day out of it.  

First we sat in traffic going into the city near the airport, which was actually awesome because Levi could watch the planes take off.

Next, we found a Starbucks, and I got embarassed because I was convinced they were giving away free coffee for Earth Day.  They weren't - I was reading a blog from 2011.  LOL.  The barista told us about  a park downtown, so we headed that way.

Once we (parallel) parked in the city, we found the said park, and of course, it didn't have a playground like I expected.  Oops.  But we did find a giant statue of a lion annihilating a snake, which Levi thought was fabulous.

We walked another mile to a riverfront park (with a playground), played for a few minutes, found a bathroom.

Then with an hour on the meter to spare, walked a mile back (Levi on my shoulder), and stopped at Anthropologie (and rolled gumballs around to each other on the floor).  

On the way home, just before my exhausted toddler crashed into oblivion and I finished my audio book of "Bossy Pants," we ate the pathetic lunch I packed - bananas, granola bars, applesauce in a packet, and chips.  Not the most well rounded meal, but it was a last minute decision this morning, I was grateful for the (free) food, and at least it wasn't french fries.

It was a fun, albeit anti-climatic, morning.  I love that Levi is at the point where for a two hour traipse around the city, all I needed was a wallet, cellphone, car key, and his hand.  No stroller, no diaper bag, just a good pair of sneakers and the shining sun.  We had a great time!

Two Miles

Today I ran two miles. It's a big deal.

Actually, it's a big deal times forty.  Because two months ago I could barely run for a minute without wanting to die.  Today I ran for forty minutes straight.

(Don't do the math - it's like a 17 minute mile.  Pathetic.  But if you are doing the math, I did 2.3 miles in 40 minutes.)

Melody and Jess inspired me...and then with some convincing from the former, I signed up for the Run or Dye 5K.  It's in Philly, in June.  It was February when Melody first proposed it, and I laughed it off.  

I've been using a couch-to-five-k training app, and a few days ago I hit a big milestone by running my first complete mile and also running for 20 minutes straight.  A big chunk of time for me.  Then, last night before bed I realized I actually was looking forward to my run this morning, so I laid out all my clothing and got up with enough time to spend 45 minutes exercising.

I did my five minute warm up walk, and then I started running.  Ten minutes passed, and then twenty, my former personal record, so I kept going.  I wondered how long I could make it.  By the time I hit thirty-five I realized if I could make it a few more minutes, I would reach the two mile marker.  I was tired, but I was excited.

I don't know why two feels so special to me.  I guess I've always thought two miles is a nice amount to walk or jog on a regular basis, you know about thirty minutes, but yet it seemed so unattainable.

Today I attained it.  I'm pretty stinking excited.

And now, a photo montage...

February 2013 - The first time I exercised for the sake of exercise in two years.

March 2013 - Getting into interval running training.  One minute at a time.  Surprisingly, not hating it.

April 19, 2013 - My first big chunk of running.  Twenty minutes and feeling great.

April 21, 2013 - The first time I ran two miles. Note to self - don't pin back the bangs and take pictures of myself without a shower before 7 am.

How To Deal With A Tiny Master

And no, I'm not talking about living with a two year old.

Rather, what this is is a cry for help!  I'm going to share some pictures today that I'm kind of hesitate to publish.  It's part three of our "new house tour:" the master bedroom. I have a SMALL master bedroom, a huge bed I'm not willing to part with, a few good ideas, and a lot of room for improvement.  When I say small, I mean 9' x 13'. We can't paint or change anything cosmetically because we're renters.  My decorating has to be limited to bedding, wall art, curtains, furniture, and rugs.  And stuff has to be free or under $10.  Ha!  Here we go!

So when we moved to our new house, the "cons" were tiny bedrooms and one minuscule bathroom.  The "pros" of a larger living room, kitchen, storage area, third bedroom, and back yard won out.  This is how I'm dealing with the tiny bedroom.

We have a king size bed.  It has a beautiful oak mission style headboard, foot board, rails, and actually, an entire mating suite.  Most of it didn't fit. The armoire, one night stand, the box spring, and the mattress made it in to our room.  The large dresser and second night stand live in the living room, while the remaining bed pieces are sadly stashed in the basement.

How to deal with a huge bed on a floor?  Free cinder blocks from the side of the road.

What to do when your headboard is now a single-pane window that is freezing in the winter?  Well, find an old door in the attic and hang it on said window.  In case you're wondering, I used Interlocking Flush-Mount Hardware - it was completely worth the $7.  That's the way to go if you want to hang a "headboard" on the wall - or any other heavy art for that matter.

Fun fact - did you know a standard king size bed is the same width as the height of a standard interior door?

My shoes are stashed under the bed and hanging on the wall in these white pop-out recycling containers from Ikea:

And you know the saying abut the plumber's house?  This is our version.  The man who works for the audio, video, and lighting industry sees this every morning when he wakes up.  It's freaking hilarious, and Herb is going to be totally embarassed that I shared this picture!  Also - remember when I said our dresser didn't fit up the stairs (although it loves living in the living room now), well, this book shelf DID fit, and it works. I guess.  For now.

Yes we have two televisions in our very small room.  That's another story for another day - but it's very temporary.  But ridiculous and so funny.

So...help.  What should I do above our bed with window treatments?  I've tried long hanging drapes (eh) and scarves (double eh), but I don't want a valance that would block out the light.  I also need to do something about the window beside the bed (not pictured).  And spruce up my wall of jewelry, special pictures/prints, and shoes.  Oh, and I still have white fabric to make this duvet (mom, seriously, let's get on it already!).

Suggestions for anything? Aaaaaaaaand, Go!

Enjoy It

Contentment is a big word for me.  I guess it probably is for everyone.

But, by the grace of God, I've been feeling so very content in the size of our family these days.  Will we ever add to it?  Probably.  How? I don't know.  When? I really don't know.  Is there a chance that we won't?  I guess.

And right now, I don't care.

After a morning of playing hard at the park, we paused for a brief picnic lunch before heading home for a nap.  Surrounding us were mothers and children.  Lots of children.

Like, seriously, 4 kids to every mom.

One table over I heard one mom settling a chicken nugget dispute, and on my other side was a frazzled mama who realized she forgot to pack napkins.

And meanwhile, my one and only child snuggled up next to me on the bench, said, "Kiss, mommy,"  and "Thanks for the good food."

The joy that he brings me and the amount that I'm able to actually enjoy and appreciate his company is insurmountable.  I'm not saying that I don't wish for more children.  It's just that, in the world of infertility, it's nice to have a win sometimes.  There is a silver lining - and my relationship with Levi is it.

As we drove home, I contemplated the idea of having only one child.  Is it selfish to only want one?  Is it possible that we may never be able to adopt again - is it our future?  Am I a bad mom because I think I can probably only handle parenting one child?  Am I a bad mom for sometimes wishing I had another baby?  Back and forth, round and round.

Then I heard a gentle whisper, from Him, the hope-fulfiller.  "Shhhh.  You are content.  Enjoy it."

So who knows.  Is this amazingly special time with Levi what our entire future looks like?  Or will it be a time that we look back on and reminisce as the days when we only had one child? I don't know, and I'm okay with that.  It sure helps that I have arguably the best kid ever.

What about you?  Is there a next chapter in your life that may or may not begin?  Trust God.  He is capable of giving peace, contentment, and joy in whatever the situation.  More than I ever imagined possible.

Philippians 4:11b-13 ...I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.