Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Unknowingly Sentimental

Levi and I have compiled a summer adventure list.  One of the things on our list was to take the bus from Manheim to Lancaster city, which after several postponements, we planned to do today.  We would visit the market, the splash fountain, the library, go out for lunch, and then I promised him I'd show him the courthouse where his adoption was.

At the bus stop
Imagine my delight when I realized that today was, in fact, the fourth anniversary of his adoption!  Looking back, that was easily the happiest day of my life.  I expected something so anti-climatic, after all, we had been parenting Levi for 7 months at that point.  But it was such a beautiful experience - and one I look forward to experiencing again.

Lunch date

We did all the things I mentioned while we were in Lancaster today, complete with tasty donuts from market.  At one point I wished Levi a "Happy Adoption Day," and he said, "Happy Adoption Day to you, too, mommy."  

Watching him splash in the same fountain that he did on this day four years ago filled me with so much joy.  What an honor, what a joy these last four years have been.  

May 26, 2011
May 26, 2015

Oh, happy adoption day to me, too.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Love Grows

Two years ago, when we were beginning to discuss a second adoption,  one of my biggest concerns was about our desire for open adoption, if possible.  I care so deeply for Levi's birth family, and not just his birth mother and sister, but grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, and family friends.  I was having trouble imagining how we could possibly balance another special relationship like that.  Would our second child's first family get the shaft?  Would we somehow not have enough time/energy/love to maintain contact with Levi's first family?

As we began to pursue domestic infant adoption, I pushed these fears down and tried to just focus on one thing at a time.  But then last week it hit me - love grows.

You don't NOT have more kids because you can't love any more.  You don't NOT make new friends because you can't love any more.  There is always more love to give.  Why wouldn't another birth family be the same?

Bringing another child in to our family will mean so much more than simply adding another person to our little family of four.  We will be adding a whole new extension.  Another group of people who we care deeply about and with whom we want to invest time and love.  Another group of people who love my kid(s).

Open adoption is strange.  Boy do I know that.  It's so hard for people on the outside to understand these relationships.  But when you let go of social norms and follow God's leading, love grows.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015


I should be praying.  I should be sleeping.  I should be cleaning.  I should be exercising.  I should be doing anything except what I've been doing - hulu, Facebook, and blog reading.  When life gets overwhelming, in a positive or negative way, I flock to a screen.  I drown out the voices and the deadlines and take a minute (or an hour) (or two) to just turn all the sounds off.

I should be blogging.

This is my coping mechanism.  This is my place to sort out, to unwind, to gain clarity.

But this is so public.

So, I will be vague (and subsequently share a post from Instagram).

Herb and I are standing on the edge of the next season of our lives in so many ways, from career moves to school changes.  Our family dynamics are ever changing, and we are facing a long summer vacation with an active four year old who is capable, willing, and excited to go on many adventures.

I want to cherish this season of life.  I want to jump into the coming weeks and months with abandon and full of trust in the One who encouraged the leap and will catch us if we fall.

Oh, so much hope fulfilled.