Thursday, December 31, 2009

Maybe Next Time!

No baby for us this time around. But I feel fine! Thanks for the prayers.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Hope Unstoppable, Sing the Morning Sun

Being home alone is dangerous for me, especially at a sappy time of year such as this....especially when we are awaiting a child!

Tonight I found myself alone with the computer and itunes. First, I was falling in love with the music of Michelle Featherstone, as recommended to me by Lauren. The song "I'm There Too," is one that Lauren suggested I sing to my baby someday. I also love the tune "Sweet Sweet Baby," "Man and Wife," and "Rest of My Life." I appreciate songs that talk about how much you love your husband!!!

Then, I remembered the other day on my iPod some Brave Saint Saturn music that Herb downloaded popped up. I searched for this song in iTunes, and when I looked up the lyrics, I was broken. These lyrics are so my heart right now!!!!! I can't wait to learn it on guitar/piano.

I've been breaking my back... yeah, only to show You,
how very lost one can be, And bitterness fires through me.
The brilliance that was is flickering cold, slowly burning to ash.
I'm choking on pride, I'm closing my eyes,
'till one day I'm scared to go back.

You part the shadows, Light of the World.
Destroy the blindness, Peace Eternal.

Take this broken heart, if it brings You praise,
Take this beaten soul, shivering hands I will raise.
Hope Unstoppable, Sing the morning sun,
Wake up oh sleeper, the Daylight has come.

You are, You are, Invincible.
You are You are, Unbreakable.

***When you click on the song links, it goes to some really crappy you tube videos, but you can at least LISTEN to these great songs!

Monday, December 28, 2009

"Maternity" Photo Shoot

This is kind of lame, but know we did it as a joke! We laughed so hard when Herb came up with this idea. You've all seen them....this is our version!

So Far, So Good

Here's what I've got done for the nursery. Presenting .... our baby's future room!

View from the door.
The Chinese lanterns may stay there or be hung in a group of three above the crib.

View towards the door.
(a.k.a. the best treatment of wood paneling I've ever seen, if I do say so myself!!)

So, as you can see, this is what I am still waiting for...

- crib mattress
- twin bed mattress
- changing table/dresser pad
- curtains (Going to have to be pretty colorful. I am going to wait till baby comes, so I can go really girly or masculine with them.)

- oh, and a baby. In case you were wondering if anything came out of "possible situation #1," the answer is...we don't know. The door has not been closed on that one, but we are still praying for it! :)

Praying Hard Today

God, let your will be done!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Possible Situation #1

Today we got notified of a possible situation in South Carolina. The baby is due January 2! The expectant mom will be looking at profiles on December 28, and Lord Willing, ours will be in that mix.

Trying to focus on the fact that there are probably hundreds of couples who were notified of this situation, and God has already planned this one out. But it's exciting to know that we're in the game.

So now, I am continuing to pray for God to guide our adoption process and to let it unfold in a way that he would be glorified!

Monday, December 21, 2009

4 Years!

How could I forget? Yesterday, I should have remembered to congratulate Herb and my kidney on their 4 year transplantiversary! I wish you many more years of healthy bliss!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Snow Weekend = Nesting

What a wonderful weekend. We got about 16 inches of snow on Saturday, and therefore did not leave the house since Friday night (it's now Sunday night). Some highlights for me included...

Got my car back on Friday night, only one month since the accident. Random "God story..." Friday night I was running around Wal-Mart looking for a electrical socket to charge my cell phone because I needed Herb to help me drop off my rental car by 6pm. Instead of finding a place to charge the cell, I ran into Lynne, from my small group, who offered to run me all over West York to drop of the rental and pick up the Escape. It was so shiny and beautiful, and I am so glad to have it back!

After the car ordeal, Herb and I enjoyed some last minute (and finishing) Christmas shopping (actually just his, not mine, I've been done since December 1!). We then watched a movie with Isaac and Jess, and made plans for breakfast the next morning (which didn't happen due to snow...maybe next week?).

I baked about 8 dozen cookies and two pecan pies. I would have made two pumpkin pies too, but ran out of eggs. Peanut Butter Temptation Cookies, Hershey Kiss Cookies, Chocolate Chip Cookies (sandwiched with left over frosting from Cora's birthday cake!).

After baking, I did a small amount of cleaning/dishes/etc, then I scrapbooked. I have been enjoying reading some scrapbooking/crafting blogs, and one of them has a weekly challenge. Thanks to a friend from work for gettnig me hooked up with this fun stuff!!

Next up on the to-do list was priming the baby's room! Here is a before and after priming shot. I'm not going to reveal any of my color scheme/theme just'll have to stay tuned! All I'm saying is goodbye blue and goodbye wood paneling!! That was officially that last piece of unpainted paneling in our house. Soo happy to have it be gone!
Saturday night we cuddled and watched Christmas movies. Today, Sunday, church was canceled, so it was pretty much a repeat of yesterday's activies. We painted the trim in baby's room, and spent some time outside with the neighbors shoveling snow. Thanks for you help, Joe!

Friday, December 18, 2009

I Married a Man?!

I'm not sure when it happened exactly, but yesterday I realized I am married to a MAN.

I loved Herb more than anything when we got married, but we were still kids. And I think we both knew that. And somewhere over the last three years, my husband has grown up. I mean really grown up. It is such an amazing feeling to know there is NO WHERE else on earth I am more safe, protected, comforted, comfortable, and happy then in his arms. He has truly learned what it means to lead a marriage, and to be to his wife as Christ is to the church.

God, why have you blessed me so?

Last night, as we talked, I told Herb that I realized he had to become this before he could be a father.

He said, "Duh," to me.

Maybe the kid is still there a little bit. :)

Thank you Herb for letting God mold you into who He wanted you to be. Thank you for choosing me to be the recipient of your love. Thank you for telling me to put on my coat and get in the car. You always know just what I need. I love you more than anything.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Can't Count Screaming Kids Anymore

Tonight, as we celebrated our paper pregnancy at Ruby Tuesday's, there was a screaming child at the next table over. Herb and I looked at each other and laughed.

"I guess we can't count the reasons we don't want kids any more," I said, remembering our newlywed years of "numbering" the screaming children that gave us reasons to WAIT.

"Nope, that's off the table. We've retired it," Herb replied, without even a smudge of disappointment in his voice.

Our waitress was more than thrilled to take this picture for us. She said our story made her night and she was going to cry.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Paper Pregnant!!!!!!

Oh, a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. All it took was a minor meltdown last night, lots of patience from Herb, oh, and 7 months of meetings, and education classs, reading several books, lots of paperwork, and waiting.

And it all leads to today, when we are approved for an adoption!

What does this mean? It means that our profile is active, and we are ready to be chosen.

Bring it on!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Waiting for the Wait

No news on our approval yet. Hoping this is the week we receive the official "okay," and then we can be really waiting.

I keep watching our ticker...12 weeks, 4 months, 6 months, now almost 7 since we first applied for the adoption. I guess somewhere in the back (or front) of my mind, I am hoping for a miracle - to have a baby before it reaches 9 months. I think it would be neat to have a story where it took less than 9 months to have a baby. Then I start to realize the baby process began long before the ticker started...I know we're over a year into the adoption process already, from decision to want to start a family, to giving up on trying to conceive, to choosing adoption and an agency, to waiting for the first informational meeting, to references, and now for approval. I never considered how much waiting there would be before we even get to "wait for a baby" (wait to be chosen). Oh God, give me patience.

The song in my heart this week has been "Worship While I'm Waiting." Such a cheesy song from a cheesy movie, but I can't get it out of my head. I need to remember that God already knows where our baby is, what stage of development (if any) the baby is in, and where they are. He is holding the baby in His hands, and waiting for just the right moment to trust Herb and I with this responsibility.

I am not aching for a baby the way I thought I would over the holidays. It's not a pain like "I can't believe we don't have a baby yet. Life's not fair..." It's just more of a baby-consumes-my-every-waking-and-sleeping-thought issue, and wishing I could focus on something else for a minute or two. My mom lovingly assured me that if I was pregnant I would be going through the same thing.

God, use this time to prepare me. Help me to trust you more in this situation.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Baby Dreams

After having this dream, I took a 6 week dreaming hiatus...but they have come back with a vengeance. I will TRY to keep these brief, but some of them are so humorous. So, enjoy!

Dream 1 - Saturday Night

I dreamed I was very pregnant. We knew that the baby would not live, and we were bummed about that until we found out that even if you have a still birth, you can bring a baby home from the hospital. This is how adoption worked.

Dream 2 - Sunday Night

The dream begins with me lying in a hospital bed, holding a black haired little baby boy. Herb is sitting beside my bed and I say, "What happened?" Herb tells me how we have a son, and we didn't know I was pregnant until two weeks ago. "Just like that show on TLC?" I asked. I tell Herb that I don't remember being pregnant, or giving birth. To prove to me that it actually happened, he shows me a digital camera and I look through all the pictures of me in delivery. As I am holding this most precious baby, I tell Herb, "This is not what we planned for, we are supposed to be adopting." Herb assures me that everything will be just fine, we have a baby now!

And here's the kicker, the next thing I say in the dream is: "Well, I guess I can love this birth child as much as I was planning to love our adopted baby." Like I was settling to have a biological child!!! Man, if that dream doesn't tell me how "okay" I am with this whole adoption process, I don't know what does!

Dream 3 - Monday Night

My principal, who has no children, came into school holding a baby. I said, "When did this happen?" He told me that Taco Bell was giving out free babies with their value meals. The problem was that I had just eaten at Taco Bell, and didn't realize there was a baby in the bag, and I had thrown it away. So then I was wrestling with whether or not to go back to Taco Bell and get another baby, or just wait till we got picked by a birthmother. I kept saying, "If we get a Taco Bell baby, it will never know it's birth mom!"
Disclaimer: I have not eaten at or thought about Taco Bell in several weeks, so this is totally random!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Prince Charming Lives In My House

This morning, I got rear ended. It sucked. But the morning ended with a with a man who drove an hour and a half to come to my rescue.

This afternoon, I got a lunch date and lazy nap time with said prince charming.

I am blessed.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

What We've Been Up To (In Pictures)

Here's what we've been up to in the last 4 weeks (has it been 4 weeks since our homestudy already?)

Going to Will Ferrell Halloween parties!

New flooring! We also moved the large dining room table to the kitchen. As you can see, the dining room is now a "music parlor..." aka, living room over flow. Making room for rocking chairs, swings, and pack n plays.

Putting together the nursery! The crib is together (not picture), the paint is chosen (although not on walls yet), and the top of a quilt has been made.

LOTS and LOTS of marching band.
And...the last thing we needed to do to get paper pregnant - finish the profile book!!! Here is the picture our wonderful neighbor, Allison, took for us this afternoon. This will be THE picture on the front of the book and on the website.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Old Friends, New Friends, Cyber Friends

This is not adoption or baby related, but blog related!

Tonight I had dinner with a friend. We chatted about babies, married life, faith, politics, beer, teaching, cake decorating, sewing, and blogs. There were not long pauses in conversation, and we didn't run out of things to talk about. We shared secret baby name ideas and an apple crisp dessert. It was awesome lady time!

The funny thing is, this was the first time Joan and I have ever hung out. Joan feels like an old friend, but she's more like a new friend, but in reality, probably more of a cyber friend. She's married to a great guy who was one of my best friends from high school in another life. As our college and careers took us on different life paths, I didn't get to know Joan until they were already married (or at least pretty close to it). So between that and the beauty of blogs and facebook, I think it feels like we've known each other forever!

I know people get frustrated with the Internet/facebook stalking, but in this situation, I truly believe this has created a stronger bond. She knows what is going on in my life and where my heart is now - does it matter where that knowledge came from? This is the digital age, my friends. Yes, it is easy to get trapped behind a computer and not got out and actually foster relationships. BUT when you go out to build those relationships in person that have already be fostered online, how much richer can they be!

Thanks for an enjoyable dinner and face time, Joan. Can't wait to hang out again! And to the rest of you out there in blog world - thanks for taking enough interest in me to read! :)

What are your thoughts on friendship and the internet? Help or hinder?

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Feeling Treasured

Today I do not have to go to work. To honor the veterans, mom came over, and today we will visit the army. The Salvation Army, that is! In all seriousness, today is a great day to appreciate the freedom we have, and the high price at which it came.

Last night, as I was showing my mom different things that are new in our house since she was here last and my latests crafts and whatnot, I remembered she hasn't read our adoption profile yet. Of course, she was excited to read it!

After she was finished she said, "Wow, who are these people?" (In a good way, lol).

Herb says, "You like it? Does it make you want to give us your baby?" Because, of course, that is the test of a good profile.

Mom laughs, and then a light bulb clicks in Herb's head. "I guess you already did give me your baby."

Mom says, "Yeah, my first born, no less!"

It was such a simple conversation, but at that moment I felt so treasured by the two people who love me the most in this world.

Having mom here is always such a joy, and I can't wait to make her a grandma - she's going to be a great one!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Ah, Small Celebrations

Social worker liked our story for the profile book. What a relief! Also, I am enjoying little comments people make about when they think we will have a baby, and how much those comments have in common, though unrelated events! I like thinking that God may or may not be telling us something. I am just so happy with the progress that we are having with the adoption. Almost paper pregnant!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Trying to introduce yourself...

in 12 measly pages is absolutely overwhelming. Let me clarify, these are 12 8.5x11 pages WITH several pictures on each page. So it's really only 2-3 pages of writing. How do I tell the kidney story without making Herb sound like he's on his deathbed? How do hit all the general information they need to know without sounding cookie-cutter and blah?

I will be SO GLAD when this is finished. :)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Homestudy - COMPLETE!!

Ahhh, I am breathing so much easier now! Our social worker was here from about 10-1, and in that time she walked through the entire house and we chatted about parenting in the kitchen. Walking her through the house was more like when a friend who hasn't been to our place before comes over and we show them around. She played with our kitty and complemented on my decorating and color choices (she loved the aqua, so there!).

She said it would take 4-6 weeks for our approval to be written and processed, and then after that our profile can be shown to birthparents! During the next 4-6 weeks, we need to get our profile done, which is a scrapbook showing pictures of us, friends, family, hobbies, etc and just telling our story. Of course I am excited to do it!

The only down side of the the morning was that I found out that the average wait in adoption is a year from APPROVAL, not application. I was thinking we would most likely have a baby by June, but it's more like next Christmas. However, a year is the longest wait for people in our position, so it still could be before that. Who knows. I am a little disappointed, but at the same time I have incredible peace resting in God's timing.

So, now we are going to go to Baby's R Us for fun! :)

Saturday, October 17, 2009

So Incredibly Blessed

Last night some wonderful ladies came over and ROCKED OUT on cleaning our house for the home study on Tuesday. I am mean, this thing is clean. Walls were scrubbed, appliances were scoured, windows were cleaned. I didn't even know the shine that some parts of my house still had in them. It was slightly intimidating - it felt like those Saturday mornings when your mom would make you clean the house, but this time I had like 4 moms and another sister here - but it was SO WORTH IT. Jess pointed out that it is so good to see the body of Christ really surround you and come together in tangible ways.

As much as it feels to have a sparkling clean house, I think what last night showed me is what a wonderful support system we have here in York. Not only are Herb and I blessed with large biological families, but our baby is going to be so loved on by so many people who are not blood relatives to us. And doesn't it feel like that is so fitting for an adoption anyway?

If it takes a village, I know I've already been blessed with a great one.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Current Playlist of Emotion

So many thoughts, fears, and joys running through my mind right now. I can't help but wonder how many are adoption related and how many are just plain parent-to-be related.

There are certain songs I just love to listen right now. Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's our stage in this adventure, maybe it's just my taste in music. BUT these will be the songs I will look back on in 10 years and be able to listen to and remember exactly how I was feeling today.

In no particular order...
All You Need Is Love - The Beatles
Bless the Lord - Tye Tribbett
Wheels of a Dream - Ragtime Soundtrack
My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson
We Build - Nicole Nordeman
How He Loves - John Mark McMillan
All Over Now - Eric Hutchinson
Forever - Chris Brown (purely for the Office Wedding)

For the record, these days when I need a good laugh and cry all at once, I just watch the last five minutes of last week's office.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

My Brain Is Going To Explode...

If my back doesn't first. Too much flooring on Saturday; I am still hurting on Tuesday. It is annoying and significantly cutting into my "CLEANING FRENZY" week. This morning, I literally made an index card titled with each room of my house, and then about 5-10 items to be done in that room before next Tuesday (home study day). I think I will tape the card to the door of each room, so I can stay focused and work on ONE THING at a time. Some ladies from my small group are coming Friday night to help us really give the house a good one...can I help it if I want the house to be clean before they come? LOL. How ridiculous am I?

Yesterday, I went to a music nerd workshop for all of Adams, Lancaster, Lebanon, and York counties. I always look forward to those days - getting new ideas, running into old classmates and co-ops, and being around people who share my passion. Yesterday was different. My passion wasn't there.

All day I was feeling apathetic to music education and really annoyed with the people who were obnoxiously obsessed with being a good musician and teacher. Then, during the choral reading session at the end of the day, it finally hit me. We began to sing a simple lullaby. It was nothing special, not even a melody I remember. But as I sang along (or should I say tried to sing), tears filled my eyes and a lump swelled my throat. The lullaby represented everything I feel passionate about now. Immediately, I vowed to myself that as soon as this home study is behind us, I am going to start learning lullabies. LOTS of them.

At one point in my life, I would have DEFINED myself as a musician or music teacher, etc. And now, as I told Jocelyn this morning, right now being a music teacher feels about as important as being a cake decorator, scrap-booker, bargain shopper, or TV watcher. It is something I really enjoy and love, but it is not the only part of me, and it cannot solely fulfill my life purpose.

I don't think that being a mother will solely define me either. I think I am just learning that as a woman, I fill many roles and have many purposes. And right now, I am just consumed by achieving a new role as mother and becoming better at my role as wife and Christ follower.

God, thank you for putting these desires in my heart. Who knew?

Okay, maybe my brain and back won't explode, but there is a good chance in the next few months that might heart might.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Herb is learning to read!

Just kidding...but he has been spending day and night reading our adoption books (which must be done by next week). He keeps telling me things from the book that I don't remember because I read them in July, and then he says, "Didn't you read the book?!" I guess he is a slow reader for comprehension, and I am a fast reader to get it done. We have had some really good conversations as a result of the books, and I think that they are making him even more excited to be a dad!

Why is it that the only books about open adoption were written in the 80's when it first began? Therefore the adopted children they are writing about are usually my age or older!! Maybe someday Herb and I can write an updated adoption book!

Friday, October 9, 2009

My First Dream About Him

If you know me well, you know that I am one of the most vivid dreamers. Not that they are ever prophetical or anything like that, but they are in color, very real, and often very entertaining. I have dreamt about adoptions, pregnancy, and babies a lot before, but last night was the first time I had a dream about OUR baby.

In the dream, we received our approval letter and within hours we had been selected by a birthmother. We didn't get to meet her, and the baby was pretty much just dropped off at our house after birth (which is not the way it happens). He was so tiny and new and holding him felt so good! There was no fear that someone would take him away and I just knew he was ours. Sarah (my sister in law) came over right away to take me out to breakfast and shopping for essential baby things. We were so unprepared for the little guy that I was toting him around in a backpack! And he was wearing one of the onesies I actually have bought already.

So, not that we're having a boy or that it will happen like this, but it was so neat to dream about it. Thanks for that little clip of hope, God. It was refreshing.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

And then there was a chair...

There is actually a real piece of furniture in my house that is for use with a baby. My baby. This is a reality!

Monday, September 28, 2009

The Best Adoption Perspective...

Tonight, in reference to the uncertain timeline of adoption, my friend Sammy said to me, "It's like holding the winning lottery ticket and just not knowing when you're going to cash it in."

I could have cried. Thanks, Sam.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Preparing the kitchen...

Even if little feet won't be pattering and little knees won't be crawling for a long time, the kitchen is prepared!

Or should we say now I don't have to worry about tripping over the fake tile in flip flops anymore.

Thanks, Dad, for helping me install the new floors today! You rock!

Friday, September 25, 2009

I am annoyed...

For the adoption approval, we have to make a will which state to whom we entrust the care of our future children.

To entrust the care of your child to someone else, you must actually have a child that you can name in the will, or the will is not legally binding, according to

So, I called the adoption agency to ask what other couples do in the situation. The receptionist told me, "Well, most people just say "children that will be born to us.""

I had to laugh. But now I am annoyed.

Any suggestions?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Ask and ye shall receive...

Wow, I will never cease to be amazed at the power of the interent. Within a few hours of my last post, I had 2 offers for gliders for free, and someone else offer to help me recover one if I didn't like the fabric. Thanks Sarah, Joan, and Denise!

Last night, as I was waiting for my home made chicken pot pie to cook, I reorganized/cleaned out the cabinet in our kitchen. We now have two empty shelves for bottles. How long will I keep opening the cabinet looking for the tupperware that used to be there?

Hoping to get a good start on the flooring this weekend. Walking around on bare unfinished 100 year old gross floors is, well, gross! Shoes in the kitchen for sure!

Monday, September 21, 2009

2 down, 1 big one to go

Our first two home studies are behind us! The next one is October 20, at our house this time. You know what that means? CLEANING PARTY!!!

And you are invited. ;)

In the meantime, I am in search of a glider/rocker. I have been looking on craigslist like crazy. If you see one cheap somewhere - give me a call. My goal is to put it in the future baby's room, and sit in there and pray for our future baby, the future birthmother, our social worker, and us as parents. I know, good idea, right? So, not mine, but I like it!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

God, help me remember...

...that my fears and worries need to be replaced with faith and trusting YOUR plan.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

4 months into this...

And I am actually beginning to freak out.

Interestingly enough, my newest follower, "kalibug," commented yesterday and said, "I'm sorry the wait is so long." At first I thought, "Aw, thanks." Today I am feeling the total opposite. I feel like everything is happening so fast. I guess that is the result of anything that is a "hurry up and wait" process.

On Monday is our second home study interview, and I just cannot believe it's already been a month since our first one. So, if you are following my math, we have one more a month from now, and THAT IS IT. Two months from now, Lord willing, we will be approved to be parents. Is that weird and funny to anyone else?

Anyway, I am sure it is normal to be sobered by the idea of being responsible for another human life, and right now I am completely there. I am overwhelmed at the thought of a total life change, and at times I mourn for the end of our newlywed days. Herb and I seem to have a more active social life in the last month than we've had in years, and I wonder if that is our subconscious way of throwing caution to the wind in these last baby-free days/weeks/months/years? (I surely hope not years).

HOWEVER, the ball is completely in our court at this time. If I wanted to grasp onto my so-called freedom a little tighter and a little longer, all it would take is one phone call. So am I going to make that call? Are my coming-and-going-as-I-please days and restful nights more important than fulfilling a lifelong yearning and desire, not to mention a God-given dream and role?


One night, many years ago, I had a breakdown in Herb's old prism in the parking lot of Lyte Auditorium. "I don't know if I'm really ready to get married!! I don't know if I can do it!" I cried. Herb, frustrated and humored at the same time said, "Of course you can!" He was right. That total life changed turned out to be absolutely the best and easiest decision of my life, and just got better with time.

I'm pretty sure that's what parenthood will feel like too.

Especially if I have the same hunk telling me, "Of course you are!"

Oh, but now, he really knows what it is like to be a man and he's like even a million times better for me/to me than he was when I married him.


Monday, September 14, 2009

If you give Michelle a baby...

If you give Michelle a baby,
first she will have to fill out an adoption application

If she fills out an adoption application,
then she will have to have a home study

If Michelle and Herb have a home study,
then they will have to look at the safety of their home through a magnifying glass

If they inspect the safety of their home,
They will have to pro-actively replace the kitchen floor (and bathroom, but that's another story)

If they decide to replace the kitchen floor,
They will find a great deal on laminate, and continue the new floor to the living room and dining room

If they purchase new laminate,
They will have to remove the old vinyl, sub floor one, linoleum, sub floor two

If they remove the old vinyl, sub floor one, linoleum, sub floor two,
They will discover disgusting water damage from the refrigerator and dishwasher

If they discover disgusting water damage from the refrigerator and dishwasher,
They will have to replace both appliances before the new floor goes in

If they replace the appliances,
Consequently, the refrigerator will literally quit working just a few days before a new one was to be bought

If the refrigerator will literally quit working just a few days before a new one was to be bought,
Herb will remind Michelle of God's sovereign timing.

If Herb reminds Michelle of God's sovereign timing,
Michelle will still have to spend the evening looking for a new fridge

If Michelle spends the evening looking for a new fridge,
She will get frustrated

If she gets frustrated,
She will call her mother in law, vent, and look at consumer reports

If she calls her mother in law, vent, and look at consumer reports,
She will pause for a minute to post her frustration on facebook

If she posts her frustration on facebook,
She will remember to also write a blog

If she writes a blog post,
She will be reminded that all this is for a baby

If she remembers that all this is for a baby,
She is calm, and happy

If Michelle is calm and happy,
Can you give her a baby?

Friday, September 11, 2009

The Little Things...

There are little things I do to remind myself we're "expecting," such as window shopping, baby name choosing, nursery cleaning, and more recently onsie buying. Herb has his little things too. For example, he eats like he's pregnant. Not so much in quantity, but the quality of the foods...

Right now, he's making an english muffin, toasted with pepperjack cheese and deli ham, and then topped with pancacke syrup.


Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Is it too soon...

to start buying baby clothes?

Good, I was hoping you would agree with me. I just can't resist half off Wednesday's at Salvation Army. I got a onsie with palm trees and those stupid little cars you haul a surf board on.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Homestudy, part 1, complete!

I think it was a success. We met for two hours at Bethany Christian Services with our social worker, Amy. She's our age and an LVC grad, so we had some things to talk about. She mostly just asked us about how we met, about our dating and engagement, our struggle with infertility, and our jobs.

The next homestudy is Sept 21, at Bethany again. Following that will be homestudy 3, actually in our home, hopefully at the end of October. Amy said that it will take a few weeks after that for our approval to come through, but we're thinking around Thanksgiving it should all go through. SO THEN we can say, "Anytime now."

And, just in case you are wondering, I am pretty sure in the world of adoption, "anytime" can be days, weeks, months, or years.


Sunday, August 23, 2009

Babymoon Trip 1

Herb and I just got back from a weekend in DC. It was spontaneous and fun, and the whole time I kept thinking, "We probably won't be able to do this kind of thing for much longer." We really enjoyed couple time, but I couldn't stop myself from looking at every stroller we passed to evaluate the age and cuteness of the baby, the ease of travel for the couple with the baby, and of course the pattern/color scheme on the stroller (sorry, I can't help it). I concluded that a weekend trip like this could be done with a child, but minus the hotel bar, the fabulous night of sleep, the 3 hour, stinking hot walk, and the fact that we didn't eat or bathroom from 10:30-4:30. That being said, I think over the next few months we might be trying to appreciate our time as just us a little more, and "doing more" things.

I feel so refreshed and actually ready to start school this week. Also, we have our first (of three) homestudy on Tuesday!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

12 Weeks In

Appointment to hear heart beat? No.
Appointment to listen to my heart? Yes.

Walk from store to store to buy clothes for my expanding belly? No.
Walk from store to store looking at baby clothes to remind myself we're still in the game? Yes.

Eating for two? No.
Eating better so I don't look like I am eating for two anymore? Yes.

Wondering if I could love a baby who is not of my flesh? No.
Knowing I could love any baby? Yes.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

What's My Role?

Hi Blog Reader, this post is for you. I just finished reading the third of our required books called, "The Post Adoption Blues." It was a pretty depressing book, but had some good strategies and coping skills. Anyway, here is a list of things that you, as our friends and family, can do to make our future adoptive family even stronger and better prepared to face the future.

Here is direct quote from the book...

"Friends and Family
  • Your daughter, son, or friend needs your support now. They need to you accept their role and their (future) children.
  • Empathize with what the adoptive parents and children have experienced. you may not understand it completely, but they will understand your support.
  • Examine your own feelings about having a child by adoption in the family. By being honest, you can separate you apprehensions from the really child who is now a family member.
  • Stop and realize how very much your acceptance means to you family member. Withholding love and acceptance ripples into the extended family and can polarize family loyalties."

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

10 weeks in...

All of our references are finally in so we can schedule our home study! 2/4 of the books are finished (at least by one of us, lol). Getting close to that paper pregnancy!

Herb is really enjoying being around his precious nieces this week at the beach. I think he's getting the fever...

Sunday, July 5, 2009

It's True...

While we're still early in the process, I wanted to start writing down our experience. I bought a journal at a yard sale yesterday thinking I wanted to record our adoption story. I still might use that, but I thought a blog might be a good idea too.

Here's where we're at, according to the checklist on my fridge...
1. We have chosen to pursue adoption. Herb and I knew this was on the table before we even considered a serious relationship. No, we have not tried any infertility treatments or testing. Yes, we'd still love to have a child naturally, but we don't consider adoption to be a lesser choice or that we're "settling" for this. We feel like all children ultimately belong to God, and however he decides to bless us with them is fine with us.
2. We have chosen an agency, Bethany Christian Services, and have filed an official application.
3. We have attended an educational class.
4. We have filled out very personal questionnaires that made my hand cramp.
5. I finally cleaned up our bedrooms upstairs and have one empty and ready for painting and baby furniture. (This was my favorite part so far, lol.)

Where are we at now? Next up is reading 4 books and completing our home study.

Thank you for all your prayers. I can't wait.