Thursday, December 31, 2009

Maybe Next Time!

No baby for us this time around. But I feel fine! Thanks for the prayers.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Hope Unstoppable, Sing the Morning Sun

Being home alone is dangerous for me, especially at a sappy time of year such as this....especially when we are awaiting a child!

Tonight I found myself alone with the computer and itunes. First, I was falling in love with the music of Michelle Featherstone, as recommended to me by Lauren. The song "I'm There Too," is one that Lauren suggested I sing to my baby someday. I also love the tune "Sweet Sweet Baby," "Man and Wife," and "Rest of My Life." I appreciate songs that talk about how much you love your husband!!!

Then, I remembered the other day on my iPod some Brave Saint Saturn music that Herb downloaded popped up. I searched for this song in iTunes, and when I looked up the lyrics, I was broken. These lyrics are so my heart right now!!!!! I can't wait to learn it on guitar/piano.

I've been breaking my back... yeah, only to show You,
how very lost one can be, And bitterness fires through me.
The brilliance that was is flickering cold, slowly burning to ash.
I'm choking on pride, I'm closing my eyes,
'till one day I'm scared to go back.

You part the shadows, Light of the World.
Destroy the blindness, Peace Eternal.

Take this broken heart, if it brings You praise,
Take this beaten soul, shivering hands I will raise.
Hope Unstoppable, Sing the morning sun,
Wake up oh sleeper, the Daylight has come.

You are, You are, Invincible.
You are You are, Unbreakable.

***When you click on the song links, it goes to some really crappy you tube videos, but you can at least LISTEN to these great songs!

Monday, December 28, 2009

"Maternity" Photo Shoot

This is kind of lame, but know we did it as a joke! We laughed so hard when Herb came up with this idea. You've all seen them....this is our version!

So Far, So Good

Here's what I've got done for the nursery. Presenting .... our baby's future room!

View from the door.
The Chinese lanterns may stay there or be hung in a group of three above the crib.

View towards the door.
(a.k.a. the best treatment of wood paneling I've ever seen, if I do say so myself!!)

So, as you can see, this is what I am still waiting for...

- crib mattress
- twin bed mattress
- changing table/dresser pad
- curtains (Going to have to be pretty colorful. I am going to wait till baby comes, so I can go really girly or masculine with them.)

- oh, and a baby. In case you were wondering if anything came out of "possible situation #1," the answer is...we don't know. The door has not been closed on that one, but we are still praying for it! :)

Praying Hard Today

God, let your will be done!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Possible Situation #1

Today we got notified of a possible situation in South Carolina. The baby is due January 2! The expectant mom will be looking at profiles on December 28, and Lord Willing, ours will be in that mix.

Trying to focus on the fact that there are probably hundreds of couples who were notified of this situation, and God has already planned this one out. But it's exciting to know that we're in the game.

So now, I am continuing to pray for God to guide our adoption process and to let it unfold in a way that he would be glorified!

Monday, December 21, 2009

4 Years!

How could I forget? Yesterday, I should have remembered to congratulate Herb and my kidney on their 4 year transplantiversary! I wish you many more years of healthy bliss!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Snow Weekend = Nesting

What a wonderful weekend. We got about 16 inches of snow on Saturday, and therefore did not leave the house since Friday night (it's now Sunday night). Some highlights for me included...

Got my car back on Friday night, only one month since the accident. Random "God story..." Friday night I was running around Wal-Mart looking for a electrical socket to charge my cell phone because I needed Herb to help me drop off my rental car by 6pm. Instead of finding a place to charge the cell, I ran into Lynne, from my small group, who offered to run me all over West York to drop of the rental and pick up the Escape. It was so shiny and beautiful, and I am so glad to have it back!

After the car ordeal, Herb and I enjoyed some last minute (and finishing) Christmas shopping (actually just his, not mine, I've been done since December 1!). We then watched a movie with Isaac and Jess, and made plans for breakfast the next morning (which didn't happen due to snow...maybe next week?).

I baked about 8 dozen cookies and two pecan pies. I would have made two pumpkin pies too, but ran out of eggs. Peanut Butter Temptation Cookies, Hershey Kiss Cookies, Chocolate Chip Cookies (sandwiched with left over frosting from Cora's birthday cake!).

After baking, I did a small amount of cleaning/dishes/etc, then I scrapbooked. I have been enjoying reading some scrapbooking/crafting blogs, and one of them has a weekly challenge. Thanks to a friend from work for gettnig me hooked up with this fun stuff!!

Next up on the to-do list was priming the baby's room! Here is a before and after priming shot. I'm not going to reveal any of my color scheme/theme just'll have to stay tuned! All I'm saying is goodbye blue and goodbye wood paneling!! That was officially that last piece of unpainted paneling in our house. Soo happy to have it be gone!
Saturday night we cuddled and watched Christmas movies. Today, Sunday, church was canceled, so it was pretty much a repeat of yesterday's activies. We painted the trim in baby's room, and spent some time outside with the neighbors shoveling snow. Thanks for you help, Joe!

Friday, December 18, 2009

I Married a Man?!

I'm not sure when it happened exactly, but yesterday I realized I am married to a MAN.

I loved Herb more than anything when we got married, but we were still kids. And I think we both knew that. And somewhere over the last three years, my husband has grown up. I mean really grown up. It is such an amazing feeling to know there is NO WHERE else on earth I am more safe, protected, comforted, comfortable, and happy then in his arms. He has truly learned what it means to lead a marriage, and to be to his wife as Christ is to the church.

God, why have you blessed me so?

Last night, as we talked, I told Herb that I realized he had to become this before he could be a father.

He said, "Duh," to me.

Maybe the kid is still there a little bit. :)

Thank you Herb for letting God mold you into who He wanted you to be. Thank you for choosing me to be the recipient of your love. Thank you for telling me to put on my coat and get in the car. You always know just what I need. I love you more than anything.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Can't Count Screaming Kids Anymore

Tonight, as we celebrated our paper pregnancy at Ruby Tuesday's, there was a screaming child at the next table over. Herb and I looked at each other and laughed.

"I guess we can't count the reasons we don't want kids any more," I said, remembering our newlywed years of "numbering" the screaming children that gave us reasons to WAIT.

"Nope, that's off the table. We've retired it," Herb replied, without even a smudge of disappointment in his voice.

Our waitress was more than thrilled to take this picture for us. She said our story made her night and she was going to cry.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Paper Pregnant!!!!!!

Oh, a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. All it took was a minor meltdown last night, lots of patience from Herb, oh, and 7 months of meetings, and education classs, reading several books, lots of paperwork, and waiting.

And it all leads to today, when we are approved for an adoption!

What does this mean? It means that our profile is active, and we are ready to be chosen.

Bring it on!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Waiting for the Wait

No news on our approval yet. Hoping this is the week we receive the official "okay," and then we can be really waiting.

I keep watching our ticker...12 weeks, 4 months, 6 months, now almost 7 since we first applied for the adoption. I guess somewhere in the back (or front) of my mind, I am hoping for a miracle - to have a baby before it reaches 9 months. I think it would be neat to have a story where it took less than 9 months to have a baby. Then I start to realize the baby process began long before the ticker started...I know we're over a year into the adoption process already, from decision to want to start a family, to giving up on trying to conceive, to choosing adoption and an agency, to waiting for the first informational meeting, to references, and now for approval. I never considered how much waiting there would be before we even get to "wait for a baby" (wait to be chosen). Oh God, give me patience.

The song in my heart this week has been "Worship While I'm Waiting." Such a cheesy song from a cheesy movie, but I can't get it out of my head. I need to remember that God already knows where our baby is, what stage of development (if any) the baby is in, and where they are. He is holding the baby in His hands, and waiting for just the right moment to trust Herb and I with this responsibility.

I am not aching for a baby the way I thought I would over the holidays. It's not a pain like "I can't believe we don't have a baby yet. Life's not fair..." It's just more of a baby-consumes-my-every-waking-and-sleeping-thought issue, and wishing I could focus on something else for a minute or two. My mom lovingly assured me that if I was pregnant I would be going through the same thing.

God, use this time to prepare me. Help me to trust you more in this situation.