Here is direct quote from the book...
"Friends and Family
- Your daughter, son, or friend needs your support now. They need to you accept their role and their (future) children.
- Empathize with what the adoptive parents and children have experienced. you may not understand it completely, but they will understand your support.
- Examine your own feelings about having a child by adoption in the family. By being honest, you can separate you apprehensions from the really child who is now a family member.
- Stop and realize how very much your acceptance means to you family member. Withholding love and acceptance ripples into the extended family and can polarize family loyalties."