About a month ago I experienced brokenness and conviction over my eating habits unlike anything I've felt before. My thought process was completely unhealthy and alarming, and the the food I was consuming was pure junk. When I consider the gravity of my mistakes and the work that it will take to correct what I've done, I am overwhelmed.
But, for the last 35 days, I wake up thinking, "Can I make healthy choices today? Yes." One day at a time has built upon each other, and has brought me here, a month later, without so much as a cheat. I pray that this is the beginning of a new journey, but can't wrap my mind around more than the next 24 hours.
This constant "one day at a time," mentality is benefitting me in more way than one...Last week, we committed to our first foster care situation.
This is big. This is really big.
And when I consider the gravity of what it means to put my heart on the line I can only handle one day at a time.
I am praying for God's perfect will to unfold for this precious child. I am praying for God's perfect will for our family. I am praying for God to restore and redeem this hard situation for the child's birth family.
I am losing sleep over the potential of more disappointment for Levi. Gratefully, he and I started seeing a child therapist a few months ago, giving him the ability to name his feelings and justification to feel all of them.
I am surviving on knowing the Lord walks with us in this journey. I am assured that our role to care for the fatherless, even if only for a brief period, is work which is commanded by God.
I am reminded that no love given is ever wasted.
My friend Kami to me this: "The whole foster care process is such a good reminder that we hold everything God gives us with open hands. This child has to be that way - but the rest of our lives are really no different - we have just fooled ourselves into thinking we control it."