Thursday, September 29, 2011

You Don't Have to Go Home, But You Can't Stay Here

Well, it's done.  

The walls and floors that have been our home for the last four years now stand empty.  Oh so very empty.

The room where I laid my biggest dream come true down in his crib will now house the hopes and dreams of another little boy.

It's been a whirlwind of moving, and in the midst of a logistical nightmare, I have been an emotional wreck at times.  We've wanted this for so long; we are only 1 mile from Herb's work now.

But who knew goodbyes to a building can be so hard!  (Of course, there are people like Jess and Lynne who I will miss like crazy, too).

Anyway, thanks old house.  We loved you lots.

Sadness and bittersweet feelings aside, our new digs are incredible, and I have lots of projects coming... but just for today, let me mope a little. 

Thursday, September 22, 2011

For the Little One...

There are two things I love about moving: redecorating a new place, and all the gems you find while purging/packing/cleaning.   I'd love to share one of those gems I found.  I've never considered myself a fan of writing, but here I am, over two years into blogging, and loving it.  Today I found a journal of poetry I started in 10th grade.  The poems deal mostly with love, love lost, anticipating the man of my dreams, and love for my parents.

The last poem I wrote was dated July 12, 2009, just one week after beginning this blog, about two months into the adoption process, and exactly one year after deciding we wanted to start a family.

So here is my poem about adoption, about Levi, about that love that you feel which you can't yet explain.  Can you even imagine the joy I feel as I realize the fulfillment of these thoughts and wishes is sleeping in a crib five steps down the hall right now?

For the Little One....
by Michelle Suereth

Why do I love you already?
How do I so deeply care?
Why can I almost imagine all the joy we will share?
I can't really tell quite yet...

Right now you are a twinkle,
Nothing but a precious dream.
You are not growing inside me, our blood does not flow as one stream.
So how can I love you already?

The wonder of it all is you!
Where do you come from, where will you go?
Who is protecting you from harm right now as you grow?
There's only one thing I can answer...

Wherever, however you are,
I love you already.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

These Are A Few of {His} Favorite Things...

In case you've forgotten what it's like to be one, here are the top ten things you currently love, especially if your name is Levi...

1. Eating toddler sized tacos.  Even if there is SPICY Mrs. Dash seasoning on the onions.  You can even hold the taco with two hands.  Daddy says you eat it like a man.
  • 1.1. Lately, if you don't like something I've cooked for you, you will eat it if you WATCH me blend it in the magic bullet.  Otherwise, you spit it out.
2. Climbing up the stairs.  You go nuts when we take the baby gate down, and bolt right up.  About every five steps or so you look back to see if someone is behind you (of course we are) and giggle.

3. Cars, trucks, trains.  You love things that go "vrooom" so much, the other night at dinner you even made your raisins go "vrooom" on your high chair.

4.  Hugging.  Your version of hugging is to lay your head against something.  If someone is holding you, it seems like a legit cuddle/hug.  However, if you are on the floor and you see your cousin, you may or may not hug her by just putting your head on her lap.

5. PBS Kids.  But only for about 10 minutes at a time.

6. A Breeze.  You are so content to be outside, whether playing or in a stroller.  

7.  The toilet.  Unfortunately, the barrier of the the seat has been breached and water has been splashed, and therefore, momma must make sure to always keep the bathroom door shut.

8.  Your toothbrush.  You actually think it is a lollipop.

9.  Lollipops.

10.  Scaring people.  You peek around a corner and say "DA!!!"  If no one is hiding, sometimes you still just say it, and if we jump or react, you erupt in laughter.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Problem I Wanted

Well folks, the day we have been dreaming of for 11 months has finally come... someone wants our house!

As you may remember, selling didn't go our way, so we decided to go the slum lord land lord route (actually, we're using a property manager).  After 4 months, a price reduction, refinancing, another price reduction, and 8 showings, we have tenants!

Our patience has been tested and we have wondered why it seemed that God was directing us to Manheim (church, work, family, etc) but not providing a solution for our housing situation.  However, after the floods that wrecked the Manheim borough last week (and mostly in the areas we had considered living it), maybe that is part of our answer.  Also, we definitely having been learning lessons in budgeting, living more simply, and just trusting God for every area of our lives, especially finances.

But now the time has come to leave York and head to Lancaster (actually more bittersweet than I expected), and we are SO excited for this new endeavor!

The problem?

We must be OUT OF HERE by September 28 - - which is 13 days away, and we don't have a place to go !  I think we found a place that will work, but we're just waiting to see if that pans out.

But seriously, after longing to be closer to Herb's work and our lovely church for so long, this is the kind of excitement Herb and I thrive on (you know, like the time when we had 12 hours notice before becoming parents).  These are GOOD problems!

In the meantime, don't be surprised if you don't see much on this old bloggy space in the next two weeks.  And if you are interested in some panicked packing/purging/moving, shoot me a line!

Thank you, God, for answered prayers.

Picture source here.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

When You See A Clingy Baby

If you've encountered Levi and myself in real life lately, you've probably noticed he's not too keen about anyone holding him.  Not grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, and sometimes, not even daddy.   This is a new development, as he's typically been a very social baby and happy to be held by whomever.

This past weekend we were around a lot of family for Herb's grandpa's funeral, and I know Levi was probably perceived as clingy and maybe even a mama's boy.  At first I was feeling insecure, thinking maybe somehow this represented a parenting fail on my part.  However, I was assured me this clingy phase is perfectly normal.

But beyond "normal," I realized Levi's attachment is something so much bigger and so much more wonderful than just a phase.

Levi's attachment to me is nature responding to nurture.  His longing and desperation to be held by only his momma in fact proves that I really am his momma.  Through nurture, I have filled the role that naturally I wasn't designed to be.  Isn't that neat?  He doesn't care that we don't share DNA or an umbilical chord; he knows I will meet his needs and hold him when he cries.

The next time he fusses and stretches out his arms to me as someone else tries to give him a cuddle, I will be grateful and allow my heart to be filled with warm fuzzies... I am his mom.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Joy, Death, Adoption

Jess has done it again...that is, moved me to tears.  Today she did a guest post  over at The Skipping Stone, and I was a blubbery mess.  She talked about joy, death, and adoption, with a beautiful picture of God's thoughts towards us. 

... I think about when Michelle and Herb brought their son home and everyone who loved them couldn't wait to stop by their house to meet him. I hope that was what it was like for Isaac. I hope when he got to Heaven, God showed him his room and everyone wanted to meet him and welcome him HOME...

Check it out HERE!!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Another Nursery Canvas

Man, I'm on a baby-room kick.  First there was the quote canvas for baby T, and today I am going to show you a project I made for baby E!  If it seems like there are a lot of babies, you are correct.  I am not exaggerating when I say I know a dozen people due in the next 6 weeks or so.  Hence, lots of baby showers, but also, lots of newborn cuddling to come!!

Anyway, baby E is going to be making her arrival in October.  E's momma is Herb's cousin, Marci.  Herb and Marci were the Levi and Joelle of their day!

I wasn't sure how Marci had planned to decorate the nursery, so I did some registry stalking and found the bedding she had selected.  Here's a picture of the rug that goes with the bedding (she didn't register for the rug - I started wondering why would anyone want a rug like this in their nursery, anyway).

I am LOVING the girly take on the safari jungle theme.  If you want to see the rest of the bedding set, click here. And, I should also mention, I really enjoyed looking at all the baby bedding.  Ahh, nursery decorating is so fun.  Do you know how many HOURS I spent dreaming up Levi's room?

So anyway, I broke out the Modge Podge, Cricut, Create A Critter cartridge, and a bunch of adorable girlie paper and ribbon I had on hand, and viola!  (These colors look brighter on the computer than they are in person.)

If you are going to buy one Cricut cartridge, Create a Critter is the one.  I am so in love with these little critters...but not as in love I am with all the little critters that will be entering the world in the next 6 weeks! 

Friday, September 2, 2011

Trains, Planes, and Automobiles

Levi is all boy.  Here's how I know this.

Up until two weeks ago, we had never given him any kind of car, or anything with wheels for that matter, to play with.  He doesn't have any TV shows.  We don't take him to races (yet) or even point out cars and trucks on the road.

It's not like we were trying to keep these toys and shows away from him, I just didn't think he was old enough to get it and enjoy playing with them. For his birthday, several people gifted him cars, trucks, and even some tractors.

And much to my amazement, as soon as he had that first car in his hand, he said "vrooom," and pushed it on the ground.  In fact, on several occasions, he has pushed one single truck in circles for 45 minutes or more.

How does he know how to do this stuff?  Seriously?  Did he just notice cars while he was riding in his car seat or pick it up from a kid in Sunday School?

And is there anything cuter than a little boy and his car?  Today I gave him a matchbox car that I had stashed away till he was "old enough," and he carried that thing around with him all afternoon like it was his lifeline.

My heart melted.

So, now it's confession time.  When we decided to become parents, I secretly really wanted a daughter.   I thought boys were boring, gross, and rowdy, and girls were sweet, delightful, and fun.  I wanted to do pink princess things, and I hated sports.  But from the second I found out Levi's gender (standing in Ollie's, reading an email from Jen on Jess's phone), Levi has shown me what a joy a son is.

The bond between a mother and a son is something so uniquely special.  He has changed me.  I might still kind of hate sports, but if Levi is involved in them, or just loving them, I'm going to be the best trash-talking-cheerleader-fan in the world.  I never had a match box car in my life, but there's nothing I want to do more than push them around my kitchen with my little boy.

His grandpa going to love going to races together in a couple of years...  I'm just hoping this car love leads to free oil changes someday.