Grown in My Heart
Last week I was driving to teach piano lessons and I was reflecting on a quilt I am making. The quilt is a "practice quilt," as I bought fabric recently to make a baby quilt, but I wanted to practice first before I do the real thing.
This led me to thinking about the actual baby quilt and our someday baby. A huge smile crept across my face and I let myself start thinking about that baby. What would they look like? Would it be a boy or a girl? And oh how sweet the moment we meet will be.
"I love her so much already!" I thought with excitement. (I know, I said her. It's just what I was thinking about then.)
And that was the moment I realized that future baby is growing in my heart already. You know, like that adoption poem that everyone has heard:
Not flesh of my flesh, or bone of my bone
But some how still miraculously my own
Never forget for a single minute
You grew not under my heart but in it
I wouldn't even say I have baby fever at this point - I am dutifully putting one foot in front of the other to proceed with the adoption and prepare our house and hearts for a little one, but it's certainly not all I think about or obsess over (like the last time while waiting for Levi).
It's just that in that moment, driving in the car, listening to a song declaring my amazement at God's wonderfulness, I realized, that yes, there IS a baby coming, I am loving him/her already, and that is very cool.
This led me to thinking about the actual baby quilt and our someday baby. A huge smile crept across my face and I let myself start thinking about that baby. What would they look like? Would it be a boy or a girl? And oh how sweet the moment we meet will be.
"I love her so much already!" I thought with excitement. (I know, I said her. It's just what I was thinking about then.)
And that was the moment I realized that future baby is growing in my heart already. You know, like that adoption poem that everyone has heard:
Not flesh of my flesh, or bone of my bone
But some how still miraculously my own
Never forget for a single minute
You grew not under my heart but in it
I wouldn't even say I have baby fever at this point - I am dutifully putting one foot in front of the other to proceed with the adoption and prepare our house and hearts for a little one, but it's certainly not all I think about or obsess over (like the last time while waiting for Levi).
It's just that in that moment, driving in the car, listening to a song declaring my amazement at God's wonderfulness, I realized, that yes, there IS a baby coming, I am loving him/her already, and that is very cool.
This was beautiful, and to be honest I cried a little bit. Do you mind if I use this at an adoption awareness I am speaking at, at the Lynchburg pregnancy center? I think this would really uplift some girls who are considering the adoption option!
ReplyDeleteWonderfully written!
ReplyDeleteFeeling the same things over here- I was so worried Leo would be confused about the timeline for getting a brother or sister, but he's already saying he wants to buy little things for "his baby" and will randomly select toys of his that he wants to give to a brother or sister.
Our hearts are definitely growing! :)
Jess
(p.s. I emailed you a few weeks back, not sure if you got it or not- my email is jess16407@msn.com if you wanted to email me...)
So excited for you! We are hoping to being the adoption process again next year and I know exactly what you mean. Looking forward to following your adoption story as God blesses your family with another child.
ReplyDelete