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Sunday, June 21, 2015

Oh boy. I mean girl?

There have been so many easter eggs, dropped clues, vague-gramming/blogging/booking, and secrets I've wanted to spill on social media.  How do I recover?  Where do I even begin?  How do I spill the beans that there's going to be a little bean?

Oops, I just did.


I remember when we were matched with Jen, I didn't sleep for about a week out of sheer excitement.  And at first, this match was exactly the same.  But there is no earthly way I'm going to maintain that for months. Yes, I said MONTHS.

In almost every way, this situation is different than Levi's adoption.  Not better, not worse, just totally different.  And isn't that just the plight of the second child?

The expectant mom (E-Mom) that has chosen us is a friend of a friend.  So, we did a little something I've coined "BYOBM" - bring your own birth mom.  She picked us to parent her unborn child, and then she met with a  social worker from our agency.  

When we were chosen by Levi's birth family, we had only three weeks to prepare (and ultimately actually only a twelve hour notice).  It was completely what I had been hoping for - spontaneous parenthood!  

This time - E-Mom made her adoption plan fairly early in her pregnancy, hooked up with us early in her second trimester, and seven weeks later, we met face to face.  That was yesterday.  If you're doing math - E-mom is currently 25 weeks pregnant and due October 2.  

Levi was seven weeks old when we brought him home.  He slept through the night and had a pretty wonderful schedule.  He was a content and calm baby with whom I was very spoiled.  

This time, I have been invited in to the delivery room.  Lord willing, I will be in her life from day one, minute one, second one, not to mention the joy of anticipation.  E-mom shares a wonderful amount of information with me as she walks through this pregnancy.  We have signed up for the bump weekly emails and we text each other, marveling at the new things the baby is developing.  It's almost like experiencing pregnancy, just without all the painful side effects.

Oh, and did you catch the other big difference?  Go back and read the last paragraph.

I said HER.

This time, it's a girl.  This time, it's pink and purple, fuzzy and princess-y.  This time it's hair bows and braids, glitter and dresses.

Oh friends, I can't even touch the tip of the iceburg with what it means to be "expecting" a daughter.  The work God has done in my heart and my life as a woman and the joy I feel knowing I can impart that on someone else.  OH man, that's a whole other post for another day.

A few months ago, we found out our social worker was pregnant with triplets and due in May. I said, "I fully expect when she goes out on maternity leave and the office is busiest, we'll get the call.  We'll get matched in May."  The first day I talked to E-mom on the phone was May 1.

And yet, we want to be sensitive.  I want to be guarded.  I want to remember that she's still got 15 weeks to go.  That's a long time in the adoption world.  This is the kind of match I dreaded for fear of the obvious, and yet, I want to continue to be transparent.  I want to look back on this time of waiting knowing I trusted God with my family's future.  If this is to be, I want to be able to look back on this time of expectancy with joy, knowing I celebrated our daughter from the moment I knew of her existence.  This is why I have not shared yet.  But as another adoptive momma reminded me, there is no amount of guardedness that can prepare you for a disruption.  If this falls through, it's going to hurt, whether I've been guarded or not.


So, instead of worrying or stressing, I'm thinking what an incredible opportunity it is to get to know E-mom and E-dad and their families.  Because, if I have learned anything in the last five years, it's that adoption is so much more than gaining a child.  It's a beautiful chance to gain a whole extra part of extended family.  And it's freaking amazing.

3 comments:

  1. Congratulations, Herb and Michelle:) Praying all continues to go well for you, your family, the birth mom, and your daughter.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hope Liz isn't the mom you're talking about. She's been lying since day 1

    ReplyDelete

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