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Friday, October 12, 2012

I Love the Number 12: October (2 Years!!)

When I think back to October 12, 2010 (the favorite of my 12th days), I can't believe how much my life has changed in just two years.  And more than just a career change and a new roommate, as I so nonchalantly announced on Facebook the day we brought Levi home.  I have changed, Herb has changed.  Life has changed.

Today we celebrate Levi's "Gotcha Day," the day he became part of our family.  Ah, what an amazing day that was.  The end of a long journey, the beginning of an even longer, yet very wonderful, one.

I love being a mom, I mean I looove it. This is my thing. Strike that - it's not mother hood - it's him - Levi is my thing.  Pouring my life into this tiny human - this is what I was meant to do.  There are successes and there are (plenty of) failures, but at the end of the day there is, hands down, the best thing that ever happened to me.  For me.

Yet, I can't think about the day Levi came home without remembering the bitter-sweetness that laces Oct 12 for someone else. Herb put it so well, "I cannot thank her enough and every year I am reminded of her sacrifice which strengthens my commitment to raise Levi to be a strong, loving, God-fearing man."  I am so grateful that Jen is still part of our lives.

Today my favorite song, "Beautiful Things" has been on repeat in my head.  

I think about where I was emotionally and mentally two years and a day ago... "All this pain, I wonder if I'll ever find my way, I wonder if my life could really change at all."  

I think about the devastation and pain of infertility, the waiting for baby, and the roller coaster that adoption can be, "Could all that is lost ever be found?  Could a garden come up from this ground at all?"   Yeah, I was there.

 I think about that crisp Tuesday morning two years ago, when God so lovingly fulfilled our hopes and dreams, "All around, hope is spring up from this old ground.  Out of chaos life is being found in You."  

At the end of Levi's birthday video, it scrolled through 24 pictures, one for each month of his two year old, and it lined up with the bridge as they sang, "You make me new, you are making me new."  I couldn't help but think as each picture changed and showed Levi growing, how much I became a new person with each month that passed, too. 

God has renewed and restored my heart.  He has filled empty places and brought together open spaces.   He owed me nothing, he didn't need to prove his love for me; but he blessed me with the gift of a son anyway.  He placed a desire in my heart to be a mother and then when all seemed lost and impossible, he went ahead and fulfilled it.

For me, Levi is proof.  Proof that beautiful things can come out of dust.  Proof that prayer is powerful and works.  Proof that with God, all things are possible.


Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Towels and Toilet Paper

About a year ago I adopted a "chore of the day" system to keep my house in order.  I rarely ever get to everything each week, but when I do, wow, does our house look good.  I operate my week like this, but you can adapt it to what works for you, too.

Monday - Money and Market (I balance the checkbook, pay bills, and go to the grocery store)
Tuesday - Tubs, Toilets, and Towels (I clean the bathrooms)
Wednesday - Wash (Laundry, obviously)
Thursday - Dusting (This pretty much never gets done)
Friday - Floors (Sweep, Vacuum, Mop)

Today, being Tuesday, I was on my A game.  It was 8am and the bath towels and mat had already been thrown in the wash.  I had big plans of packing up the bathrooms today (you know, for our pending move) instead of cleaning them.

An hour later, I hopped in the shower, deciding that being clean today was a good choice.  Levi was especially graceful in letting me have a shower without crying outside the bathroom the whole time because I wouldn't let him in.  In fact, when I opened the curtain, he was off in his room, probably playing trains.

Oh no.  I forgot to grab a new towel.

"Levi!" I shouted.

He came running in, train in hand.

"Can you get Mommy a towel?"

He pulled one clean towel out of the cabinet, and two more followed onto the floor.  He handed me my towel and then put away the two towels on the floor.

It. was. awesome.

I suddenly had all these memories from my own childhood of someone shouting, "Can someone bring me some toilet paper?"  Why we kept the extra toilet paper in the hall closet and not the bathroom, I will never know.  But this situation has been remedied in my house - the extra toilet paper lives on the tank.

All that to say, this morning was a cool "full circle" mom moment for me.

Ask not what you can do for your kid, but what your kid can do for you, right?