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Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Empty, but Distracted

Sorry I've been so silent for the last few weeks with just a post here and there.  I've been super busy with grad school, craft projects, hanging out with awesome peoplekinda exercising and weight watchers, going to the beach, and celebrating my birthday and anniversary.

But honestly, I feel like I have nothing to say.  In fact, when it comes to the adoption, my fuel tank is empty.  I'm not dreaming about our precious little baby at night like I used to, and I'm not consumed with thoughts of baby throughout the day like I was a few weeks ago.  I have enough newborn clothes, so Salvation Army and yard sales aren't all that enticing. 

I don't want to say I'm losing hope, but I am growing weary.  When we started the process over a year ago, I could imagine exactly what it would be like to get the call, to bring our baby home, to begin our life as a family.  I feel like those day dreams are drifting away, and are becoming harder and harder to visualize.  I am overwhelmed at the ratio of babies to waiting families.

I'm glad to be distracted and not be as obsessed as normal (don't get me wrong, I still talk and think about it a lot).  It would just be easier if it could all happen already.

In happier news...I am enjoying watching these little babies grow, and one of them will be here VERY soon!

Our godson, baby Becker, due 7/24/10
(hopefully coming sooner that that!)



Our niece or nephew (I think niece), baby Stoltzfus, coming 12/10/10
(yes, I inserted a little Noah's Ark in the picture)

2 comments:

  1. I was reading your blog from the link on my daugher's blog and your latest entry touched me. They are also trying to adopt have not made it to the point where they are waiting like you are, but are in the process of raising the money they need to be able to start the adopton. Rebecca and I were talking earlier today and we discussed how in Geneisis 7:4,10 and 16 God had Noah and his family go into the Ark and He told them it would be 7 more days before it rained. He shut them in and they had to wait for what had to be a very long 7 days.

    Waiting has never been something I am good at and I know with Rebecca & Michael's Adoption Journey it is so hard to want something so badly only to be told to "Wait". It's easy for someone else to tell you not to be discouraged, but God really will get you there!

    Hang in there and I am so glad you girls have these blogs to help you let your feelings out. I hope you realize how many people you are reaching and touching by being transparent as you make this journey. I am praying for you and asking God to give you peace!

    Earlene
    (Waiting to be a Grandmother some day soon!)

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  2. I love you, Michelle. It WILL happen. I know you will be an awesome mother and Herb will be a great dad. Rick and I want to be terrific grandparents too. Just wanted you to know that I am praying with you...everyday...
    Love Mom

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