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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

In Every Season, You Are Still God

I had a feeling something was wrong.  Call it intuition facebook.

When I called her on Monday, our social worker answered the phone with words I dreaded.  She said, "I was just about to call you...There's been a change of plans..." The rest of the phone call doesn't matter.  What does matter is God is still good. 

I have peace knowing He knew that this was going to happen.  I have peace knowing I can be angry at Him, and he is going to hold me close while I scream, yell, cry, melt, and ignore.  I have peace knowing that Herb is with me, and we are in this together.

We're devestated. I've considered whether it would be possible to just "let it go," and see if everyone catches the drift.  I just don't really want to talk about it.  Period.  But we were all so excited, that I don't think that could have been an option.

Of course, things could change again, and if they do, we are still open to adopting this baby that we've come to love and cherish, but we are not banking on that happening.  At this point, we're taking everything one hour at a time.

Baby boy surprised everyone and entered the world at 3:06am this morning.  We found out through a facebook post meant for everyone to see.  On what could have been the happiest day of our lives is probably the saddest. Just like that...poof.

Thanks for covering us in prayer.

9 comments:

  1. Oh, Michelle! My heart aches for you! I was so excited for you as you awaiting this little one's arrival. I literally checked your blog every day to see if there was any news of his arrival. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Know that you and Herb are in our prayers.

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  2. Peace be with you.

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  3. Michelle, I am so sorry! I am praying for you guys during this difficult time.

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  4. praying praying praying for all and sending love and support to you and your husband big time

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  5. I'm so sorry to hear about the change of plans. How tough to find out about it the way you did. Praying for happier days ahead.

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  6. Ithought I was done crying for you about this but no, reading your latest blog brought the tears again. We love you guys and are here for you whenever and wherever. Your faith and testimony is awesome. Love, from your Mama

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  7. My heart aches for you! I will continue to pray each and every day til your arms are filled with another heart to love! Paula

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  8. I am sad with you, and I freely offer my prayers. I hope you find comfort in this in between time.

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