I Still Choose You

Remember when I fell in love with the Civil Wars?  I went ahead and bought their entire album (only $8 on iTunes, and there is also a free EP on their website).

Don't they look like The Nester and Johnny Depp together?  Hahaha, what a funny combination that would be.

Their breakout hit, Poison and Wine, was featured on Grey's Anatomy.  The song is intriguing.  Apparently, a few people with marriage experience got together in a room and hashed out all the painfully honest truths of marriage, and out of that time, Poison and Wine was birthed (read the story here).   As I watched the Poison and Wine music video over and over again, one line kept sticking out to me.

I don't have a choice, but I still choose you.

To me, this is one of the most encapsulating lyrics that summarizes the beauty and struggle of marriage.

It reminds me of the first married fight Herb and I had.  As we talked things through, I found myself thinking, "This is great, we're married now, so we'll have to fix this!"  The security that marriage brought gave me so much hope and confidence.

However, by the next time a situation arose between us, my attitude had grown slightly more sarcastic, "This is just great, we have to fix this."

I used to feel like "choosing to love" seemed so unromantic.

Now I know we are human.  We are flawed.  We are prone to wander.  We will sin.

But ultimately, we made a commitment.  It is a covenant between Herb, God, and I.  I do not have the option of opting out of this.  I have no choice in the matter.  I must do everything in my power to honor my husband and my God.

But yet, everyday, I am still choosing Herb.  Choosing to work through issues. Choosing to put each other's needs above our own. To stand together in riches and poverty.  Walking hand in hand in sickness and health.

Everyday choosing that for better or worse, it's us.

And still, years later, deliriously happy with my decision.


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