For Richer or For Poorer

In preparing for our baby, Herb and I have been thinking a lot about the financial aspect of it all. Not just paying for the adoption, but life after baby in general. I know that we cannot live on just one salary, but we can live on a lot less than what we're doing now if we had to. You less vehicle to buy gas for/maintain as often, no cable (interent or tv), no cell phones, no eating out, no new clothes, really really really cheap and frugal grocery shopping.

The struggle right now is, how to you manage to pay the bills but still have time for your family? At this point, either Herb is going to need some extra part time work, or I will work in the evenings when he gets home. And if we do that, when do we ever see each other?? Either Herb will be working all the time and I'll practically be a single mom or I can go to work in the evenings and never see my husband. I feel like I can see our kids at home during the day, or I get to see my husband in the evening.

Any thoughts?


  1. What if you did something that you could do from home? I know you're pretty crafty, what if you sold things on Etsy for extra money? That way you could be home with your family, but still bringing in some money. Another idea for quick cash is to sell your textbooks on I did that this fall and made good money, but obviously that's a once and done type deal.

  2. Hey Michelle!

    I know that we don't really know each other too well... but I have enjoyed reading your thoughts as you are preparing to hold your sweet babe.

    I just want to encourage you that if it is your desire to stay home, I really believe that God will honor that desire and make a way for you to do it. I remember feeling like we were living paycheck-to-paycheck when Chris and I were both still working; I look back and wonder "what the HECK did we do with all our money?!?" :)-- because now, on just Chris's salary, we are totally able to make it work... and like you said, we definitely have cut some things out-- don't eat out much, cloth diaper the babe, buy used clothing, etc. But it also doesn't really feel like a sacrifice, if you know what I mean?
    Have you guys actually sat down and drawn up a budget-- looking at it without your salary? I was AMAZED when I actually did this-- I felt like we got a huge raise because I finally knew where our money was going!! :) Could you guys maybe try a "dry run"? ie cutting things out now rather than after baby comes home, trying to live only on Herb's salary as much as you can-- and save the rest towards the adoption?
    And I think the music lessons is a great idea-- I think someone said that on your FB. My sister was a music teacher before she had kids, and she has taken voice and piano students from time to time, and I think it was helpful.

    Sorry-- this is way more long-winded and "preachy" than I meant it to be! I guess all this to say-- God knows your situation; He knows your desires... they are not hidden from Him. He is able to do unspeakably more than we can ask or imagine! Praying for you, girly-- can't wait to meet sweet baby.

  3. If both of you are committed to having a stay-at-home parent, you will find a way to make it work. This comment comes from someone who is trying to get to that point . . . But I honestly think that if it's where you want to be, then that's all that matters. Some weeks, you will only see Herb in passing. I'm beginning my transition to working from home, and it will mean spending my days with Carter and my nights with a laptop. But honestly, after sending him to daycare full-time for the last year and a half, I can honestly say that's okay with me. It sounds horrible to "squeeze in" your spouse when you can, but you make time for each other. It's all worth it in comparison to leaving your infant with someone else all day.

    And some women can't handle staying home; they go stir crazy. Or so they say. I think they're either kidding themselves, or they're just made differently than me.

  4. Thanks guys - that was helpful and really really encouraging.


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