I almost died today.
Okay, that's an exaggeration, but I might have almost lost an ear or an eye or had a heart attack. And that is TRUTH.
As it turns out, if you are jogging by a pretty pond at a retirement home, and a mother duck with her ducklings crosses your path - watch out! Or slow down. For, if you look mama and her ducks, while you're running, she WILL view you as a predator. And she will chase you.
Now, you're probably thinking, "Big whoop, ducks slowly waddle."
To that I say - DID YOU KNOW THEY ALSO FLY? They fly a lot faster than they waddle. Scientifically speaking, this duck could fly precisely the same speed at which I jog, which means I had to run hard and fast with my head over my shoulder to see my impending doom. Did I mention I was on a hill, going up?
I actually considered kicking the duck, that's how afraid I was. But then I realize my leg couldn't kick that high - she was flying at my shoulder level.
And squawking. Oh, the squawking. This is the material of nightmares.
So, in the end Run Keeper tracked my fastest minute of running (UPHILL even) yet, I did not die, I learned a lesson about mama ducks, and I am going to see if she wants to come with me on all my morning jogs to keep me motivated.
But really, I almost died.