Chapter 4:Don't Take This The Wrong Way

Today I bring you one of  my favorite parts of our story.  But before you read on, catch up on the first three chapters!  1  2  3

Chapter 4: Don't Take This The Wrong Way

The water rushed into my ear drums and covered my entire face, except for my eyes and nose.  It was the day after Thanksgiving and I was taking a long relaxing bath.  Finals would be in full swing in just a few days, and yet I still found myself taunted by the desire for a boyfriend. 

As I soaked, I began and almost finished a book about dating.  The book affirmed my hopes and dreams, but also encouraged me to not settle for just anyone.  However, my most treasured part was an analogy about running. 

The author compared dating to a marathon.  You can’t run with someone who is too slow, they will bring you down.  You can’t run with someone who is too fast, or you will spend your whole life trying to catch up to them.  What you need to find is someone who is running at the same pace as you; who will encourage you along the way.

I carefully put the book down on the floor, trying not to get it wet, and sat back to do some serious thinking.

Someone too slow….Okay, so I needed to stop being interested in guys who are not Christians.  Period.  I knew this was important, but I was so desperate, at this point, that was a compromise I was willing to make.  If we don’t have the same moral foundation, how can you build a healthy forever?

Someone too fast…This was a hard pill to swallow.  Shouldn't every "good Christian girl" be really only interested in the guys who were going to be missionaries in third world countries or church planters?  What was so wrong with the “super spiritual” guys?  Well, that was just it – if I was labeling them as “super spiritual,” I obviously wasn’t running at their pace, making me the slower one in that situation.  But then I realized God's best for me was not them, and their best interest was not me.

After ruling out each guy on my list of potential Prince Charmings, I started thinking about who was running at the same pace as me.  Obviously, none of the guys I was interested in, because I had just eliminated every single one.  So then I started thinking about all the men I knew.  Was anyone running at the same pace as me?

Here's the pace I was keeping:

Someone who was raised in a Christian home and knew Jesus as their savior.

Someone who was a Christian, but had friendships with people of all different beliefs and was okay with it.

Someone who struggled rembering to pray daily and make Bible reading a priority, but connected with God best through musical worship.

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  God, music, faith, sense of humor, awesome beard, great smelling cologne, incredible friendship.

" can't be...." I muttered aloud to myself. 

Right there in that tiny bathroom, the day after Thanksgiving, the year after we met…

I realized that Herbert L Suereth IV was literally the man of my dreams.

The bad thing about a realization like that is when your heart has found it's match, you want happily ever after to start as soon as possible. Against all my insecurities and better judgement, I seized the next opportune moment I had with Herb.  

Herb was driving another girl and myself back to our dorms a few days later after church.  

"So, Herb, I read an interesting book over break."

"Oh really," he asked, "what was it?"

"I Gave Dating A Chance." 

"Oh, I just started reading that, too!"  Herb said with a laugh.

After a nervous pause, I said, "Well, there's something I have to tell you." 

I couldn't believe what I was about to say. 

"Don't take this the wrong way.  But, according to that book, you are pretty much exactly the kind of man I should marry."

Phew.  It was out there now.  Really though, "Don't take this the wrong way?"  What does that even mean?  I had no idea where this conversation was going, and I didn't even know where I wanted it to go either.  I was so far out of my comfort zone.

Herb's reaction was definitely not what I had hoped for.


The calmest guy in the world had just YELLED at me.  In front of someone else!!!

And before I could think twice or stop myself, the fighter in me yelled back,  "I NEVER SAID I WOULDN'T DATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And that was our first fight. 

Continue on to chapter 5


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