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Monday, October 6, 2014

Know

I remember while we were waiting for Levi, one day my mom asked me how my heart was doing.  I replied,

"I see the way God worked out finding me a husband, which seemed impossible, so I just HAVE to trust Him for a baby."

As time wore on and I grew weary of the wait, I remember thinking, "I know God CAN bring us a baby, I just don't know if He will."

Of course, we all know that God DID work out our family, to a degree of completion and love that we could not have planned. Even now, when I face seasons of trial, heartbreak, or devastation, I can recognize God's sovereignty and goodness, despite the outcome...but I always come back to the thought of knowing God CAN do anything, yet that doesn't mean He will.

I guess sometimes that's why I feel like it's a struggle for me to pray.  It's hard to ask for specifics and make myself vulnerable, just to feel like the odds are stacked against me anyway.  But to some extent that is the point of prayer - letting myself be vulnerable to the Almighty.  But it's so much easier to say to ask for things in prayer with the ultimate caveat of HIS will being done, and asking for peace and guidance to whatever that will is.

The great unknown situations remind me of a JJ Heller song.  She sings,

"Sometimes I don't know what You're doing, 
but I know who You are."

Being well read and vested in God's word helps me to be firm in who HE is, who I am in HIM, and the rest will follow.  And like I said yesterday, sometimes the blessing is in the waiting for Him to move.


If the video above doesn't play, click here to watch Who You Are.

(I'm following along with the writing prompts from Heading Home this month.  Each day is a different given word, stretching me to explore new and old thoughts through the process of writing.  If you're interested, join me!)

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