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Sunday, October 5, 2014

Stuck

I want to buy a house. Like really really really.  I stalk Zillow and Trulia and make so many comments about houses in my town that every sign seen in a yard, whether political or for sale or whatever else, causes my four year old to say, "Oh, I'll take THAT house!"  

But for now, we're stuck.  We own a home that won't be selling anytime soon in a town we won't be living in anytime soon, if ever again.  After three years, I feel very vested in our small Lancaster County town, and I want to make this our forever home.   By forever home, I mean this town - certainly not our three bedroom townhouse rental.  Oil heat, old windows, nasty carpet, tight kitchen, unfinshed/unfinishable basement and attic.  Don't get me wrong - I do LOVE our home. It is a huge upgrade from the cave where we lived when we first moved to this town, but I'd rather it not be our forever home.

I want to freely paint walls.  I want to knock out cabinetry.  I want fresh carpet. I want a new dishwaher.  I want the world, I want the whole world.  Give it to me now.  Just call me Veruca Salt.  I kind of suck.

source

In spite of all of those "I wants," I am very aware of the "I needs" that have been met in the provision of this house (read about that here).  In fact, I would venture to say that our "stuck-ness" has forced a level of contentment in my heart.  There is no way we can afford something bigger/nicer in the rental market, and there is certainly no way we will be financially able to buy a house anytime soon (how do people actually save 20% down?!), so I must find contentment where we are.  And by the grace of God, I usually do.  

(Until the "perfect" house around the corner is up for grabs and I start imagining my life there...and then I need reality and heart checks.)

I was pondering this theory tonight and stumbled on to an article in Christianity Today called, "Blessed are the Broke." The general gist of the article was that as American Christians we often associate "blessing" with health and wealth.  Even if we out rightly disprove of Prosperity Gospel, somehow this sole definition of blessing still creeps in.   However, that leaves out those who aren't receiving those same "blessings."  The writer challenged that interpretation of being blessed, reminding us that in times of desperation and suffering, financial or otherwise, we are blessed to have to drop to our knees and depend on God for the next step.

Romans 5 says, "... we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

So today, instead of being overwhelmed about being "stuck," I am going to be grateful for the contentment it produces and the blessing that THAT is.

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