I'm not an insecure person, really, I'm not.  But put me in a room with 11 other preschool moms, most of who are slinging a fancy camera, wearing name brand shoes, have adorable haircuts, and just parked their BMW SUVs, and suddenly I have no words.  I can't figure out this phenomena, but I need a mild intervention.  Why do I assume they are a cliche, when for all I know they are just meeting for the first time too.  I know, I suck.

At Levi's preschool orientation last month, I was watching these moms from afar when another mom caught my eye.  Abandoned and alone, she looked like a dear in the headlights.  She very clearly knew no one else (just like me). If I was on my A game, which I wasn't, I would have moved her direction.  Maybe introduced myself, maybe set up a play date.  Gosh - I was a coward.  It was so much easier to just pretend I was too busy playing with Levi to go over and say hi.

For the rest of the week, I was kicking myself.  Why didn't I make that first move? Would it have killed me to just say, "Hi?"  Especially knowing she was probably feeling just as intimidated and awkward in the group of other moms.  So I prayed for a few weeks that I'd get the chance to make good on what I should have done the first time.

Of course, God answers prayer.  Tears stung my eyes when Levi's teacher gave me my carpool assignment for the class field trip on Monday.  It was just the mom I had been hoping to have a chance to reach out to.  I got my chance to move.

We bonded quickly in the 10 minute car ride over the intricacies of living in Manheim and raising a four year old shy, car-loving, only child boys.  We exchanged numbers and loosely made future plans.

I wonder how many other opportunities for friendship I am missing...even in my long established friendships.  I love my friends like crazy, but often feel a struggle to stay connected.  Different states, different work schedules, different life paths, sometimes it can be so hard to find time to catch up.  When I don't move to make a phone call or type a quick text, I am missing opportunities for connection, which I so desperately need...which we all need.

Girlfriends who showered me with kindness on my 30th birthday
Social media is weird.  I know many people feel like it gives a false sense if closeness but in this season of my life it is often the biggest way to stay caught up on the day to day- and for that I am grateful.  So I'm making a commitment this month to reach out.  Try to move toward connectedness.  One of those ways is my blog.  I am jumping on the 31 Days bandwagon and planning to make an honest effort at blogging every day in October.  I love reading my friends' blogs and updates so I am going to make my move and try to be very transparent this month.  Part of connection is making myself known.  Want to join me?  If not, that's ok too, you'll just be caught up on my life the next time we talk and then I can hear about what's new with you!

(I don't have a theme for my 31 days - so I'm using it as a journaling / writing exercise and writing bared in these prompts.)


  1. Wonderful post. I've been the 'deer in the headlights' Mum a few times and it's daunting!


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